SOBOLATION SERIES (3): WHO CALLED YOU EARLIER?

With

Sanusi Lafiagi

There's this ẹ̀gbọ́n (elderly brother) in my former place of residence who is "greatly dominated" by his wife. You know all those men that carry their wives on their heads like gala until their wives are able to read their moods and moves perfectly. In fact, so dominant is she that not only has the ẹ̀gbọ́n been unable to 'Mathinalize' but even when his immediate brother took a second wife, she neither allowed him to attend the ceremony nor congratulate him.

So, one day, I visited the ẹ̀gbọ́n and we sat down in the living room reminiscing while his wife was busy watching a Korean season movie, "Jumong" I guess. Suddenly, his phone rang and he asked the wife who was much closer to where the phone was plugged in to hand it over to him. She checked the caller's name and mentioned the name to her husband.

However, research has shown that men can hardly conceal the identity of the person at the other end of the call especially if it's a female. And, although the caller's name was male's, the wife was able to decipher his gimmicks through his countenance and voice. So, he lowered the volume of the TV in order to catch a few words from their conversation. After the call, he returned the phone to her to plug it in socket.

A few minutes later, the call to Solaah was made and he stood up and dashed in the toilet to relieve himself. No sooner had he entered the toilet than his wife quickly picked his phone and copied the number of the last caller. At that moment, I knew trouble was lurking around. The husband by nature is gentle but garrulous while the wife is excessively cantankerous and rude.

To cut the long story short, as soon as he left for the Mosque (I had prayed before coming), the wife dialed the number and began to interrogate the lady at the other end of the call. Irked by the rude response of the lady, she turned to me and said, Uncle Sirnucy, you're my witness oooo. My husband saved a lady's number with Abdullaahi. Can you imagine that?

As soon as I heard the husband's footsteps approaching, I feigned being pressed and stepped into the toilet. What happened next is better imagined. Who called you earlier? She confronted him. From heated arguments to physical assault, the loudest voice I heard was the wife's shouting, "you will kill me today! You must kill me today!"

I dashed out of the toilet to intervene and met the door locked from the inside. As soon as she heard my voice, she ran and opened the door and threw herself at me crying and swearing. Her face look swollen and there was a cut on her lips. The ẹ̀gbọ́n just stood by the door panting heavily with his cloth tattered and finger nail cut all over his face.

These people are mad. I thought as I carefully pushed her away to have a word with her husband.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ 

وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَحِيمٌ

"O ye who believe! avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful." (Q. 49:12)