BE FREE WITH YOUR SPOUSE

 

©Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

It is very important to be free with people in a reasonable manner. As a young man or woman who is still single, not being free with people may not really be a problem. If you are in the midst of people, you may not want to talk, may be due to the kind of topics they are discussing that you don't have interest in. But how this affects you after marriage depends on the nature of your spouse. If he or she is quiet like you, both of you may not count it to be anything. But honestly, it not a good life not to be free with people, especially when what is being discussed is beneficial and have a purpose to serve. This can help you to be the best companion with your spouse when you eventually get married. 

In some homes, couples are busy with their phones. No meaningful communication between them. They always want to be away from each other. Even when they are together, they don't go beyond "what do you want to eat", "what do you need", "your bathing water is ready" and so on. Some couples live in their homes as strangers. This is not good at all. 

Some people are generally good at gisting and chatting. Even if you don't want to talk, they know how to create topics. If this is the kind of person you are married to, you have no choice than to blend no matter how quiet you are. Otherwise, there will be problem. One of the things that solidify a marriage is effective communication. Your spouse must be your best gist mate. Most women love conversation and they hate it when you don't engage them at home by listening and contributing to what they say or do. Even if you are not really interested, still listen and contribute to the best of your ability. This is one of factors that defines mutual respect in marriage. Some men too are like this. They can gist from morning till night. If their wives behave like sadists, shaytān can push them to seek an unlawful alternative. This can also prompt the the thought of taking another wife or getting a divorce as the case may be.

One of the ways to keep your home alive is to be a husband or wife that can gist very well with your spouse both online and offline. Even when couples are far from one another, it is now very easy. We have no excuse again, the social media has so much simplified our interactions. We have to make positive use of it. You must learn how to joke and play. There are many ways of manufacturing topics. It shouldn't necessarily be a topic that leads to gossip or backbiting. If any of the parties is going beyond the bounds, there are diplomatic ways of changing the topic to a beneficial one.

May Allāh bless us and our homes.