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 ©Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

4th Jumaadal Awwal, 1438 AH (2nd February, 2017)

It is disturbing and embarrassing each time I hear some people saying "Ilorin men don't take good care of women". Sometimes, I feel like hitting anyone who says this. But truly, except we want to be deceiving ourselves, the reality on ground is not really too different from what is being said. It is however important to add that the evil of not taking good care of women is not peculiar to 'Ilorin men' as people from other parts of Yorubaland make it look. Treating women unjustly is one of the universal characteristics of irresponsible men. And irresponsible men are scattered everywhere. No matter where you are or where you hail from, if you enjoy starving your household or you leave your wife to take up your nafaqāt (maintenance expenses) responsibilities in your home for whatever reason, you are not a good husband and no reasonable woman would pray for your type. 

When one sees how a lot of women suffer in the open markets and business trips, one wonders who interpreted some relevant verses of the Qur'ān and Sunnah to our men in this locality. Some women would be in the open market from dawn to dusk (in scorching sun and heavy rain) dealing with strange men of different kind. When they get home, they must cook with the money gotten from their personal business. They fetch water with big big containers while being careless of their aurah (nakedness), wash their husband's clothes, clean their house (including the toilets), yet some men would never show appreciation. Instead, they would maltreat them and issue threatening statements. Some men don't even care where their wives got the money from, their own is just to eat. This is wickedness and Allāh and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم warn against it. 

Many parents fear giving their precious daughters to just anyone because of how some men misbehave. It is astonishing that men who treat their wives unjustly forget that they have daughters and sisters too and they would want them to marry good men. Hence the saying: treat your wives the way you would want your daughters to be treated. In one hadith, reported by 'Aaishah رضي الله عنها , the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: 

خيركم خيركم لأهله، وأنا خيركم لأهلي

The best of you is he who is best to his household, and I am the best among you to my household [Reported by At-tirmidhi and ibn Maajah]

The implication of this hadith is instructive. Be good to your wives, children and relatives in order to be among the best of people. How will you feel if your wife becomes the one to testify against you on the Last Day because of the unjust manner you have treated her on the surface of the earth? In sha Allāh, we wouldn't stop warning ourselves regarding women's right. 

Our society is so corrupt that the status of women have been relegated a great deal. They are used as objects of fun and amusement. Yet, we claim to be upon Islam. What kind of Islam is this? If we have to prove that we have undiluted Islamic history, we need to start enforcing the sunnah in our households and the community at large. One of the greatest signs of degradation of women in our society is our markets and events being filled with women that are not well dressed in accordance with the Sunnah (no hijāb). Women are forced to struggle to make ends meet because their husband are not doing the right thing. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned in one of his wasiyyah that:

فاتقوا الله في النساء: فإنكم أخذتموهن بأمان الله, وستحللتم فروجهن بكلمة الله

Fear Allāh regarding women: for you took them by the trust of Allah, and you made their private parts lawful to yourself by the word of Allāh

May Allāh guide us aright.


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