FORCING FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES ON WIVES

By

Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori 

12th December 2024

My usual advice to young men getting ready for marriage is "marry who you can maintain!". Even if the deal is to take a beautiful lady from the village that can be easily blended or groomed to taste, it is better than going for a woman that is above you in class and standard. Even if she says, "don't worry about finances, "I don't need much", I will not say it is a scam, but don't fall for it. Marry a woman that will be fine with what you have and your level.

If a woman will contribute in the house, it should be voluntary and by way of assistance, seeking the Face of her Lord. A man compelling his wife to contribute to the financial needs of the family is like ceding a part of his authority to her indirectly. Generally, it is hard for a woman who is taking up to 50% or above responsibility in the house not to seek her share of the leadership especially if another wife is involved. She might say "if you are not fully capable, you will not add more wife".

Don't say what is she using her own money to do. A man should take full charge financially in a way that if his wife withdraws her assistance after he has married a second wife, it will not affect him a bit. Whatever money a woman makes is for her and whatever we make is for the family. This is Islam. This is the Sunnah. The more we understand this, the better. A man can't question this divine arrangement, just as a woman should not question polygyny done in the proper way.