AIR COMMODORE L.A LAWAL: AN EXEMPLARY HUSBAND

By

Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

6th April 2025

I have been seeing husbands caring for their wives, but the day I met the husband of Dr. Mariam V. Lawal at the public presentation of Healthful Hajj, it was a greater experience. Before I finally met Dr. Mariam for the first time, I had always thought that there must be a man behind her energy and resilience despite her physical condition. May Allāh continue to ease her affairs.

Despite his status as a senior Air Force Officer, he was at the entrance of the Hall to welcome everyone by himself. He saw the success and achievements of his wife as his. How many husbands are like this? Some men do not hesitate to even block any opportunity that comes their wife's way without any justifiable excuse. 

When we were negotiating the printing of Healthful Hajj, he was in touch throughout. Despite his busy schedule, he didn't leave the affairs to his wife alone. Had it been that we are in a military era, this man would have been a State Military Administrator or even a Minister. Yet he is very humble and his busy schedule does not stop him from giving his wives attention. Yesterday at Mustaena Symposium, he delegated one of his soldiers to be with us throughout the event. I am sure he would have loved to be there personally. This got me really motivated that I can always improve my capacity as a husband. Truly Air Commodore L. A Lawal deserves an award from Mawaddah Consult.

During the Healthful Hajj Book Launch, he was called to sit on the high table with his wife but he declined because he was busy putting things in place. But guess what! When it was time for his wife to deliver her speech, he quickly went to sit beside her and held the microphone for her to speak throughout. While the wife was appreciating his efforts, I got carried away and tears dropped from my eyes. I began to think about marital cases on my desk and I concluded by saying quietly "eni lori oni Fila (Some people have heads without a cap). Despite being a polygynous marriage, her husband is always at her service whenever she needs him. This is the true meaning of الرجال قوامون على النساء (Men are protectors of women). The support he gave her paid off at the end of the day because we sold all the 500 copies printed at the event and more 1000 copies had been printed. 

This is how marriage should be. This is a reality that is different from many bad colours Polygyny has been painted in our society over the years. Our sisters need to understand that the most important thing is to have a good man regardless of whether it is monogamy or Polygyny. 

After the Healthful Hajj event, the Air Commodore and I have interacted severally on how to market the book even beyond the shores of Nigeria because the book is world class. 

Men who are in the habit of neglecting their wives on the ground that they are busy should learn a lesson from this. One of the things women love most in marriage is attention and if the husband is not giving it, it will cause problems. A lot of men these days have narrowed down marital responsibilities to finances. When Allāh says: وعاشروهن بالمعروف (And deal with women kindly), it goes beyond finances. It includes emotional presence in their lives and it is always difficult for them to live without it. That is why you see them always complaining about mental health. They are not exaggerating. If a man doesn't study women very well, he may not understand this. 

In fact, a man who does not attend to his wife's emotional and intimate needs should ask himself who is providing it for her because the reality is that when a woman is neglected, she begins to find comfort elsewhere and it is very dangerous. I have met men who say they don't know how to be romantic. I do tell them to try to learn and do it. After some time, it will become easier. It is constant practice that leads to near perfection. How many are things that we are ordinarily not accustomed to that later became part of us because we didn't give up?

There is no justification for going into a harām emotional relationship. However, as a man, don't give your wife the loophole to seek comfort from another man. Tranquility is one of the purposes of marriage (Qur'ān 30:21). It will only land the marriage into big trouble. Instead of switching to harām mode, women going through this kind of problem should seek help from trustworthy scholars and counselors.

May Allāh protect us!

Truly, good men exist.... Akorede Rawsheedah Saheed , when are you resuming this series please?