WHAT IF OUR PARENTS DIDN'T AGREE???

By

Mubaarak Olayemi Ismail 

(Aboo Muhsinah)

What will you do when your parents don’t approve of the person you want to marry even though he or she is a good Muslim? Of course you could argue with your parents and ruin your relationship with them. You could determine that you plan to marry the person you have chosen whether they like it or not.

Both of these strategies have challenging consequences and they are not the best for a Muslim like you. Marriage is difficult enough when you have your parents support not to talk of when they are not in support. Married people need the support of family and friends. Starting off your marriage without your parents support can cause undue stress in the new relationship.

Remember that it is part of your obligations as a Muslim to respect your parents and you must not severe ties with them. Don't let the marriage be what will make you have the displeasure of your parents. Your Jannah lies under their feets.

Also bear it in mind that if anything bad should happen in your marriage, people will blame it on the displeasure from your parents.

You risk blaming your spouse for the discord between you and your parents. It inevitably pulls the family apart at a time when the newlyweds need the most support. Yet, what are you to do when you really care for the person you want to marry, and you want to maintain the pleasure of your parents?

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

Try to reason with them, and see the reason why they don't want you marry the person, They want the best for you, don't let the love of the person blind you from what is right.

But when it seem to you that their reason is not so right, and you believe that you can never be with a person better than your proposed spouse. Talk to them about the reason why you thought the person is the best for you. Discuss the good qualities of person with them. Let them know what might be the consequence if you didn't marry the person. Talk to them with respect, humility and gentleness. Don't let them see you as being stubborn. Don't let them see you as if you wish to reverse their judgement arrogantly.

Pray to Allah to soften their hearts, surely he listen to whoever call upon him

Try to soften your parents’ hearts by showing patience, kindness and generosity to them. Have someone they respect talk with them to try persuade them to consider the person you have chosen to marry. See if that family friend or imam can encourage your parents to see how much you love each other, and want to establish a marriage built on strong faith and Allah consciousness

May Allah ease our affairs