SEDUCTION: WHAT MY EYES HAS SEEN

By

Abu Imran

WARNING: Long post, readers discretion is advised.

My kind of Job puts me intermitently in the line of 'fire'! It realy is no easy feat having to deal with females of different shapes and endowments, many of which have not the slightest inclination to the Islamic mode of dressing. Seduction isn't always a deliberate pre-planned effort aimed at inciting sexual desire, many of the times it is a subconscious or semi-deliberate occurence.

Men vary in what they find attractive in women; from the most mundane and infinitesimal to the very obtrusive and obvious. One quick example is the female voice. The typical feminine voice has been disarming the mental resolve of men since time immemorial, so much so that Allaah admonishes the wives of the prophet, and by extension all muslimahs, to not be so soft in speech when in a discuss with non-mahram men lest those with a disease in their heart feel (sexual) stirring! Such is the strength of the effect of a female's voice.

Unfortunately, seductive voices has become the forte of many women; muslimah, muhajjabah and muntaqibah, singles and married alike. Soul-stealing voices are one of those things we have to strive to be immune from as students meet us with one problem or the other. In fact, these voices are typicaly aimed at appealing to you to get pity (argumentum ad misericordiam). Add this to the scantily clad students seeking for ways to be in your good book and you begin to wonder less why some dip their hands into the cookie jar! 

6 years ago, I was teaching Introductory Microbiology at School of Health Technology, Ngbo, Abakaliki, Ebonyi State durring NYSC. It was a big shock at first for me considering the disparity in moral inclination between the North and the South East (at least in what is apparent), and i must confess, 1 year in that school was one of my greatest test of resolve. I was very young, and my blood was very hot (lol), and here I was in the midst of a plethora of 'free dishes' willingly offered for some 'mutualy benefiting' arrangement!

I used to walk the poorly dressed students out of the class but later had to step the rigidity down a bit. They were almost all bigger and older than myself, and I couldn't risk getting a beating of my life, many kilometres away from home!

Indeed some men have diseased hearts that will chase virtually anything 'in skirts' like they say (some will even chase anything in hijab), but living in our society today, many good men have been turned to cheats and flirts thanks to repeated exposure to different kinds of deliberate and subconscious seductions. 

So what's the way forward?

1. Get married!

Wallaahi, despite my rantings on Facebook,  I have long wished to be married except for some unfortunate circumstances, and Allaah knows best. The prophet peace be upon him had adviced that should a man find a woman in the street sexualy appealing, he should rush to his wife and have coitus, for in that will he find relief. But the bachelor can only resort to fasting which has limitations. Some arousal are beyond what fasting can curb.

2. Be principled.

Be principled and let it be known that you do not condone immorality! Set up barriers for yourself and define all your relationship with women. Draw up a line you never cross. This things are easier said than done, and sometimes we meet people that easily scale through all our defence systems! May Allaah ease our affairs. Yet the principled man is less likely to fall victim than others. The lust and sexual desires of a man without principle will never be solved by marriage, even if he marries ten women! 

3. Be mindful of illegal relationships. 

Know that any other relationship with a woman that isn't by blood, suckling or marriage is not recognised by Islaam. A man does not keep a woman as a 'friend'. There is no such thing as a girlfriend/boyfriend, or a date (be it blind date, one night date or whatever). A muslim does not have such a status as "in a relationship". He is either married or single. Where he is engaged, he is still very much single and his fiancé is still not legally permissible to him! Such relationships between men and women are made stringent to ensure that all doors leading to immorality are closed. I once read a statement that says "keeping a lady for a friend (by men) is like keeping a chicken for a pet, sooner or later you will eat it!". 

4. Try to live in a morally sane environment. This may be very difficult especially for those of us in urban settlements but yet one should strive his best to stay away from moraly debased places and opt instead for saner places.

5. Increasing spirituality and preaching it. 

In many instances, it is the fear of Allaah that stops many from committing immorality, else one will find it with ease in today's world. Strive to increase your closeness with Allaah and have a heart that pricks you each time you intend to sin. Then preach it to those around you  it is only when those around you are morally upright that you will be less exposed to seduction.

6. Be mindful of social media chats. 

There is a lot of bizarre things hapening on social media that requires a post of its own. Just be  careful of how you use it, and avoid all forms of immorality while on it.

7. Lower your gaze.

I believe this is as clear as it can be, but even more importantly, veil your heart from all forms of immorality.

May Allaah grant us the zeal to protect our chastity by every means possible and necessary.