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Khadijah Folake Sanni-Tijani


There are stories flying around, about brothers who divorce their wives after a few days of marriage because 'they were not good in bed'. SubhaanaLlaah! This says a lot about the level of indecency those brothers have been exposed to before marriage...

First, we need to rebuke those brothers for such devilish and senseless behaviour. For crying out loud, you've married an innocent sister, not a porn star! Fear Allaah and be sincere in your actions. If she doesn't up her game to your expectations, fill up the other 3 slots instead of sending her packing. 

Secondly, we need to address an important issue that we often miss before joining brothers and sisters in wedlock. SEX EDUCATION and intimacy tips. Since most of our parents shy away from this important topic, married elders who have knowledge and experience should take up the responsibility. 

Let's start educating our gentlemen and ladies as soon as they start talking about marriage. Let's explain things to them explicitly. We have heard stories of infertile couples who turned out to have been engaging in coitus femoris! Let's guide them to the right resources, either books or online articles by trusted scholars.

Having said that, there are many things you cannot learn until you get there. This is what we call 'learning on the job'. If the brother is already a PRO, let him teach the sister. If they are both naive, let them continue to ask questions while exploring different options that work for them. They can also consult a professional (reproductive health nurse, gynaecologist, urologist, psychologist, sex therapist etc) if there seems to be a physical or mental health problem. 

OK. Bye.

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