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SEX BEGINS AT 40

 


By

Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

Some women expose their breasts to those who should not see them in the name of breastfeeding. Many of the women who do this are very ignorant and shameless. Even at occasions, they feed their babies without caring who sees them. Then, it can be more worrisome if the affected person is an hijābite or a niqābite. The best thing is to sew khimār that can make it easy to feed babies outdoors, and it is important to even hide to do this, except there is no other alternative. 

Our women should know that many men still value the breasts of their wives no matter how many children they have given birth to, and it should not be exposed to strangers. We don't even want strangers to see your heels and toes, fingers let alone your breasts. Some women don't give any respect to their breast after child birth. The breast is the most disrespected private parts of women's body. In fact, in some cultures, exposing the breast means nothing (e.g. the Zulu in South Africa). 

Many women go about exposing breasts just anyhow. Even some women do go about leaving it to dangle anyhow under hijāb because they don't pack it properly. Perhaps, some of them only intend to just pick something outside and they rush out with just the hijāb without taking proper care of them. Some will go about fetching water in this state. This is dangerous. Our women must beware of falling into the category of "clothed, but naked women". While it is important for men to lower their gaze, it is also important for women to be careful of this fitnah (Q24:31). Allāh's aid is sought.

From several cases I have received, it has also been noticed that some women don't even value sex again after giving birth to several children because they feel they are unattractive with their figures or statures. Many women tend to lose their self-confidence and creativity in the bedroom after giving birth to some children. They think their husband would not value them again, coupled with some other possible medical challenges. If there medical issues affecting a woman's ability to have interest in sex, the best thing is to communicate with the husband and they should see a gynecologist for rectification. I discussed this extensively in the book: Halāl Sex and Intimacy.

However, the truth is a reasonable man does not lose interest in a woman just because of her stature that changed as a result of child birth. Even though it is necessary for women to take good care of their figures as they give birth to children within the confines of sharī'ah, the ideal men don't really care about women's changed body in this state, especially when all efforts to correct the situation haven't been working. No reasonable man would divorce or neglect his wife because if this. In fact, research has shown that some women look more sexy in their protruded belly (pregnancy), let alone big belly or sagging breast as a result of child's birth. Where there is love and creativity, sex and intimacy will always be fun no matter the change in the body. So, women should feel free and enjoy themselves even after child's birth.

To some women, sex stops at forty. This is nothing but ignorance and it causes problems in many marriages. How will a woman stop having interest in sex because she is above 40 or given birth to all of her children, when her husband might not even have the capacity to marry another wife? Any women who has this mentality must change it. It is not Islamic. As it is often said that "life begins at 40", I say "sex begins at  40". So, sex should be enjoyed in a marriage even after giving birth to all children.

May Allāh make it easy



20 comments:

  1. JazakumuLlaahu'khayran Sir, may Allaah increase you in more beneficial knowledge.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! This article is just for me. Jazakumulaahu khairan, Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  3. May Allah increase you in beneficial knowledge.
    Shukron jazeelan.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jazakahllahu khairan for this sir.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is a very germain issue and well articulated. May Allah bless your knowledge and make the writeup beneficial to the Ummah.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is very good. May Allah reward you abundantly. Jazakumullah Khairan

    ReplyDelete
  7. The article has covered a lot about the discipline of both couple and it is very beneficial.

    Jazakumullahu khayran.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maa Shaa Allah!
    Jazakumuallahu khayran sir.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maa shaa Allah
    Jazākallāhu khayran.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Maasha Allah Tabarakallahu. Jazakumullahu khairan akhi.

    ReplyDelete


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