LOOK DEEP, THINK DEEEP - Assudaisiy.com

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Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to know the blessed town of Iseyin for the first time on my way to Okeho, Oyo State, to interact with some very young Muslim sisters on the need to preserve their chastity and be very careful when it is time for them to select a spouse.

Although the conference was organized by Okeho Female Muslim Ambassadors led by our sister, Faaidah Olabisi Bello, the young brothers in the community were also carried along and it was very interesting too see many people turning up for the event. This kind of project should be replicated in all Muslim communities with a view to sanitise our society. The rate of divorce in our society without any reasonable excuse or justification is a great concern, and those who are upon Sunnah are not spared. The level of moral decadence is so alarming - evils of zina, intoxication, gambling etc. have become so normal in our society. The earlier the better for us to swing into action. May Allāh reward Sister Faaidah and other well meaning members of the community who supported her initiative.

I was in the company of Ustadh AbdulMajeed Zakariyyah حفظه الله, a very young and vibrant Ibadan based scholar and I learnt so much from his comprehensive lecture. Indeed, it is excellent to always be in the midst of people of knowledge. 

In my presentation, I stressed the need for brothers and sisters to always conduct proper investigation before marrying any man or woman. I told them to carry their parents and trustworthy teachers along. Knowing people on social media is not enough. Know the person you want to marry beyond social media. Investigate and know his or her family members and ensure open nikāh, and perhaps waleemah (wedding feast) is conducted first before any sexual relationship with him or her. 

Don't marry out of pity and don't let anyone marry you out of pity. Before you marry a man or woman, ask yourself why you are marrying him or her and prioritise the Deen in your decision. The Deen is not just about 'aqeedah or manhaj, akhlaq (good character) is very important. Don't marry an arrogant person or someone who doesn't have those who can call him or her to order. Don't get deceived! The reality of marriage is far from the show of premarital love and affection. It goes beyond pre-marital the chats and surprise gifts. Many people are learning their lessons in a very hard way - may Allāh ease their affairs and protect them against further trials.

There is no perfect marriage anywhere. But we pray Allāh سبحانه وتعالى guards us and our children from marital trials that can choke us.

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