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Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

There is one thing that my Mum used to tell all the females that she trained or that lived in our house. She would say "don't be lazy, you know you are a woman". This is understandable considering the physical tasks ahead of a woman in a marriage. Sometimes I wonder where their strength comes from. A woman will be apparently sick, yet she strives to cook and prepare the kids for school. 

The mother of a woman can give her excuses for not doing some things when she is apparently weak, if she falls in the hand of a harsh mother in-law in the future, it will not be easy for her. That is why part of the trainings a woman should give her daughters is to strive to perform some of their assigned roles in the house even when she is tired. They need to be trained to be strong mentally and physically. Mothers should also train their boys to be able to perform some of the roles traditionally assigned to women in our society so that they can help their future wives when they are inevitably down.

When we were very small, I used to notice that my Mum will be taking malaria drugs and her daily routine would not stop. She would take her time to rest. But she would still make sure she does some things by herself. Our wives are also trying. May Allāh reward them. They will be complaining of headache and this does not stop them from doing some fundamental responsibilities in the house. Some of us men do think we have done all the favours of this world to our wives by getting them a house-help. But when we realize what our wives still do in the house despite having a house-help, we will understand and appreciate the enormity of the role of a woman as home manager. The one that shocks me the most is the period of Ramadan when they work day and night. 

Women are however admonished not to play to the gallery or try to impress their men at all cost when they are understandably weak or sick. They should only do what they have the strength to do in order not to break down completely. Your husbands understand you more than you think. As Yorubas would say: "ara ni f'abo si" (it is the body that will feel it at the end of the day). Most importantly, do not over work yourself in order to perform well in the other room.

I really hope young single ladies would learn from this and prepare for future challenges.

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