BONDING WITH YOUR WIFE DESPITE HARD ECONOMY

Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

It has been noted that one of the reasons some husbands hardly have time to bond intimately with their wives is economic hardship and how much they are trying tirelessly to make sure the family is comfortable in terms of feeding and other matters. May Allāh bless and enrich us to be able to cater for our households.

However, let us not forget that signing into a marriage means a lot. One of what it means is that as husbands and wives, we are prepared to fulfill all the obligations therein and not to use one duty to frustrate or kill another. Regarding all forms of contract, Allāh says:

يٰۤـاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْۤا اَوْفُوْا بِا لْعُقُوْدِ ۗ

O you who have believed, fulfill [all] obligations [QS. Al-Maaida: Verse 1)

Couples must fulfil their duties towards their marriage contract. That is why a woman cannot disobey her husband in the name of trying to carry out some important home duties. For her, home management is one duty and obedience and loyalty to her husband is another duty. Both should never be allowed to affect each other except by mistake in which case the husband will also understand because no one is perfect.

In the same vein, as a man, keeping the company of your wife (or wives) and bonding with her intimately is one of the primary duties that you have accepted to carry out by virtue of being a husband. Your duty to provide for the family should not make you fall short in this except in some situations that your wife will also understand, you not being perfect. But when it becomes a constant thing for you to neglect her feeling when it comes to bonding and intimacy, then there will be serious problem.

Women are so fragile, they are not meant to be left unpampered or without care. It is normal for a woman to crave for attention from her husband and a man should be an attention giver to his wife (or wives). The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is our best example in every good thing including marital bond. Despite his busy schedules on account of governance, business, teaching of the Deen and battles, he still had time for romance and bonding with his wives. There are uncountable reports on this. But it is sufficient to mention the hadith of Ibn 'Abbās رضي الله عنه where he said that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي

The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives. [Sunan Ibn Mājah 1977]

May Allāh guide us aright.

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