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Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori

(First published 24th February 2016)

The custom of wailing, saying all sort of things that ought not be said (e.g. saying "my merciful one has gone" or blaming Allāh over His decree), and unnecessary gathering at the home of the deceased has no place in the Sunnah. These days, we witness a situation whereby lectures are organized on daily basis till the 8th day after the death of an individual. This practice has no basis in the Sunnah, and through it, several acts of bid'ah are being perpetrated. The family of deceased must fear Allāh and avoid turning the death of their loved ones into a money making venture. 

In our contemporary society, some people use the period of the death of their loved ones as an opportunity to show off, slaughtering cow, serving foods, drinks and committing acts of wastefulness. We see Muslim picking uniform dress (aso ebi) for their innovated 8th day fidau or death remembrance anniversary prayers. These practices are alien to Islam. We have to tell ourselves the bitter truth. The so called Alfas are just using these events to enrich themselves and Allāh is watching.

The proper thing to do is to go for the condolences (ta'ziyah), say good things you know about the deceased, supplicate for the dead and the family in a sunnatic way without being unnecessarily ceremonial. For instance, you can say "أللهم ٱغفرله وارحمه." (May Allāh forgive and have mercy on him). This can be said in any language. Instead of committing acts of bid'ah and imitating the kuffar, this is a time we should all reflect over our lives and think about when it would be our time to go too. 

According Sheikh Ibn 'Uthaymeen in one of his juristic advice, one of the best moment to supplicate and remember your dead relatives is during your sujūd and after your tahiyyah before you make the concluding tasleem in your prayers. Recitation of Suratul Ikhlās for the dead is not from the Sunnah and it is wrong to use anyone as tawassul (eg. Ola Annabi, Ola Alfa, Ola Sheu etc.). It is also advisable to leave the place of condolence on time so that other people would be given chance too. There is no room for gathering and praying in congregation for the deceased, except it happens by accident without it being fixed. 

The act of coming together sharing and reciting the whole of Qur'ān is also bid'ah. Reciting Dalaailul Khairat for the deceased is baseless in the sunnah. This book of "Asalatu" was not even known to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and his companions. I stand to be corrected. A companion of the Prophet, Jarir Ibn Abdullahi albajali was quoted as saying, 

We used to regard gathering at home of the deceased's family and the preparation of food for guests as an aspect of wailing". [This hadith is in sunan Ibn Majah]. 

On this, Imam as-shaafi'i was reported to have said, 

"I dislike gatherings, even if there is no wailing or crying. For it only renews the sorrow (of the deceased's family) and put burdens on their food supplies" [See Al-Umm, vol. 1, pg. 248]

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